if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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