she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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