Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
