Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
