69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I need a burrito and a hug.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
This toilet bowl is my home.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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