There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
