Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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