We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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