do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
