Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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