how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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