jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
