it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Randomize
