i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
