Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
