Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
