i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
