we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
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