I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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