threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
