I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
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