Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
