god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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