whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
