His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
