i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
