Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
