$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize