Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
