9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
