don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
