somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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