i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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