i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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