You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
