Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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