careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
