I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
