All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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