In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
