Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
