I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
