We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
