But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
