You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
