friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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