he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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