Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
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