Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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