god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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