she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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