this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
he was CRYING into my vagina
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
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