I accidentally burped into my bong.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
