If i could tip my vagina, i would.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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