im gay
i know
yea but for you.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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