Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
