We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
