Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I FOUND THE LEGS
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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