Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
