I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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